A Different Kind of Free

Fragile Hearts

2012-03-13T10:47:00.000-06:00

The words seemed to leap of the page.
Propelled to my inner thoughts with intense meaning. Inside I could feel the conviction of the words and their truth seep into my mind. A weight settled inside. I scrambled to straighted out the words pouring through the pages of my soul.

".....Fragile heart....."

The first words I begin to understand.

Devotions done every night is my time with God. I read, write , and pray, but there are times that I feel almost sure that God does some writing of His own. Some days the devotional seems to be written just for me.

The page is small, the words are crowded, the meaning is powerful to me.

"Handle with care" a message about a our vulnerable and fragile lives and hearts.

My thoughts unwillingly acknowledge: "You've hurt others."

"I've been hurt." My soul uneasily defends.

".....forgiving others more readily....." I continue to read on paper pages.

The last phrase binds them together. The first and last message and my walls crumble as I devulge.

"God, I know. I've been wrong and done my part in the "spat" with her, but she hurt me too. Why can't she just see my side just once?"

I fight back the tears gathering in my frustration and confusion. I squeeze my eyes shut. I wait.

The words rip through me: "God. Please help me to understand her."

I open my eyes to receive moments of another's memories that my mind unravels. Scenes flash crossing my eyes. The same memories, yet different in a way I cannot ingest. Slowly I realize what I've done.. I've seen through another's eyes.

Slowly, I let out the air and realize that I've been holding my breath.

"God? Is this what I'm suppose to see? Her side? I guess...." I pause before rushing on, " ... I have been hurt. But I've also hurt both of our fragile glass hearts. But forgiveness..... I want to forgive, but I also want to be forgiven."

And so now, with this revelation, I begin the journey. Sometimes, fragile hearts are slow to heal and even slower to trust another into the inner-most chamber of our being. As I continue to remind myself the importance of another's perspective in all I do, I will attempt to tread carefully in the dance of communication. One's heart is not only fragile, but
a gift to be held in utmost reverence and care.

DeAnza

Letters to God

2012-03-11T11:53:00.000-06:00

God,

"Thank you for this day......"

    As I sat down to write the above words, I thought

"Do I thank you for the day and everything in it sincerely? Or do I just pray and write the phrase from habit?"

           More of the latter.

   God, I realize that "thank you for this day" doesn't even cover each miracle however unnoticed it occurs. From being thankful for the good, but also the bad in hope that you will teach me to see with your eyes and to trust that you have a purpose. Thank you for the number of breaths we take each day and the shear wonder of all your miraculous creation.
I pray that you will guide me in each thought I ponder, and every step I take. Show me how to be truly thankful and to sincerly mean each praise I utter.

     God, thank you for this day.

DeAnza

Fellin' Distracted

2012-02-24T16:25:00.000-07:00

Distraction.

The word that seems to seep into our lives in every corner.
Our minds thoughtlessly start to spin a web which leads us to wander from the task as hand. To focus on seemingly more demanding horizon, calling our name.

I constantly fall into distraction countless times each day. When doing work.

Sometimes, distraction leads to letting our minds run free from our present physical position, creating places, people, or inventing possible outcomes of events. Imagination is a key component here. But the real and dangerous distraction comes when we are locked into the unability to focus on the task at hand.

I often find that if I don't take the time to find a quiet place when praying or doing devotions, I lose focus. I find in no time, that the whole of my sacred time with God has been stolen by my lack of discipline.

It's very important that when we seek to work on a task or even more important, to grow in our relationship with our Creator, to discipline ourselves, capture our roaming minds, so that distraction doesn't stand in the way.

DeAnza

Serving Needs

2012-02-23T17:56:00.000-07:00

The Bible speaks about a inspirational man named Nehemiah. Nehemiah was a Jew who was a Cup-bearer to the king. One day, the king noticed that Nehemiah was upset, and asked him what his troubles were. Nehemiah explained that Jerusalem’s walls had been torn down. The king asked how he could help. Nehemiah requested safe travel to Jerusalem and supplies of timber to build a house so that he could have shelter as he helped to rebuild the wall.

Think about it. Nehemiah was a government worker, not a builder or contractor. However, when he heard that the walls were torn down he decided to do something about it. The same principles of answering a beckoning, to respond to a known need, can apply to our lives if we ask ourselves a few questions.

#1: Do I really want to know about the need?

Sometimes, once we find out about problems we often are grieved, but shy away from acting upon them.

In my own life, when I was about eleven, our church was campaigning to help girls in other countries. I went to the campaigns’ first meeting with eagerness to help. When I arrived, there seemed to be a good turnout of people (in my eleven year old mind). Although the campaign was encouraging, at the time, to me it seemed like they had enough help. So, I didn’t go to any more meetings or volunteer. I didn’t take the need seriously.

#2: Sometimes we need to ask: What is my response to what I don’t want to hear?”

Doing inventory of ourselves is a wonderful start. Asking questions like: What are your passions for serving? What is it that moves you to tears? What is it that moves you to action? In order to serve needs, you must spend to time to evaluate your God-created interests which then leads to the next step. Taking action.

Action requires a plan. Do you have a plan? It isn’t easy to do something when the odds are stacked against us, or when people try and stop us. Make a phone call, send off an e-mail, talk to someone in the arena of interest. Remember, if God wants us to do it, then do it and pray for success!

“You know these things- now do them! That is the path of blessing.” – John 13:17

DeAnza

Copy Cat Envy

2012-01-31T17:57:00.002-07:00

Envy.

   The feeling that seems to be a part of our innermost soul by default of The Fall. Most of us have been instructed to avoid this form of greed since we were old enough to utter the words "Mine!" as toddlers.

   We all get that hot, burning feeling now and again and try to shove it in the back of our minds in hope it will die down. Truth be told, instead of dying, it grows.

But we justify, "what is mine? What can I have?"

Envy comes in many forms, but it all has one common fruit if not dealt with carefully. Simply put, envy, ultimately destroys us.

One form I've found myself struggling with, is my tendency towards possessiveness.

As the oldest in our family, I have the privilege of finding a collage of things I love without anyone ahead of me to "pull" ideas from. Interests we love help us define who we are. As the oldest, admitted or not, our younger siblings look up to us. They admire us from a distance (some times closer) and want to do it too.

How many times as a child have we poured out our sibling troubles to a trusted adult in our lives, only to hear them say, "Copying is the best form of flattery."

Our response? Usually along the lines of "I-don't-care-if-it-is-the-best-forum-of flattery-I-hate-it".

The question is this: what does that do to us as a person?

If we spend so much of our lives focused on what others are doing that aggravates us, how can we find the time or heart to come to God at the end of the day and ask for forgiveness?

When we have sin in our lives (and yes envy is a sin) it hinders our relationship with God.

He cares about things that get under our skin. He cares about the things in our lives that hurt us. He is always ready for us to come back and ask for mercy & forgiveness. He will give us the strength to forgive others and the confidence to put our worth and dreams in Him. Copied or not.

DeAnza

Feeling Bitter and Forgiving

2012-01-22T12:15:00.001-07:00

      When we face challenging times in our lives, it can be so easy to become focused on that one thing, person or situation that can be come all-consuming. We struggle to understand the reasons for the bitterness, anger, sorrow and even hate that we find in ourselves. The guilt and shame, that we desperately wish we could handle, with our seemingly overriding emotions that are beyond our control.

The question is, what are we doing with these emotions?

      Whenever we face challenges, God is always by our side. And yet, the enemy tries to sneak into these sinful feelings and affixiate.

      When we find that we feel these destructive emotions buried within us, we have just accomplished the first step, identifying that we have a problem (okay, an especially big problem). God knows what's there, and it's painful to admit it to yourself, let alone others, what your feeling.

        The best thing is to seek help and guidance of a trusted friend. One who can come alongside and encourage you, and to keep you accountable. It's important to find someone with the same values and beliefs.

      It's extremely essential that we constantly come to God, even if we just feeling badly towards someone . That we can be forgiven and in many cases, learn to forgive.

DeAnza

Retooning the Nativity

2011-12-14T17:14:00.000-07:00

Often times, we get caught up in the tradition of the decorative manger scene, that we don't stop and take the time to question its meaning or accuracy. I thought that this short cartoon was a good way to address several assumptions that we make without noticing (my self included). Enjoy this Christmas season!

DeAnza

Sandcastles

2011-12-05T16:59:00.000-07:00

On the beach, water rushes forward to sweep up countless grains of sand. It claims the shoreline as it's own before retreating back to the rest of the water. Yet, we forget this continuing battle while we build. The tide is out and we build sandcastles. Minutes fly by as we pour our time and energy into the all-consuming task at hand: our castles. We have the structure, but it needs detail. We work harder than before determined to create something beautiful. At last, we step back to appraise our work, but just as we deem it good, the water that has been silently creeping up behind us, has surged forward and consumes our castles. Only a small pile of wet, mishapped sand remains when the water is gone.

Sometimes, if were not careful, we have a tendency to build sandcastles in our own lives. We spend so much of our time and energy into building our own little castles of stuff and accomplishments. In the end, our castles will be swept away and it will all have become meaningless.

  Jesus tells us to spend our time with eternal value in mind.

Is wrapping up that paper work or chores really worth forgoing spending time with our children for awhile?

   Is spending so much energy trying to please others worth neglecting to build a relationship with God?

   It's important to keep this in mind as we live each day. Remembering to spend our time and treasures building His kingdom, not ours.

DeAnza

Museum of Nature and Science

2011-12-02T17:30:00.003-07:00

  Last week our family took a trip to the Museum of Nature and Science in Denver to visit a T-Rex exhibit (you all know how much kids absolutely love dinosaurs), with a large group of home schoolers. Our family loved it! In addition to visiting the Dino's, we got to see several other exhibits. Here's a couple of pictures...



                       Our family took this picture in front of a green screen. Future Christmas card perhaps?

These wolves had me convinced they were real

still more dinosaurs.....

Jurassic Park

                                                Mummies!

To make this quick narration brief, over all it was alot of fun to spend the day in Denver......



                        ......well almost all of it was fun.......

DeAnza

Family blog silhoette

2011-11-13T12:46:00.001-07:00

I was reading a blog and discovered at the bottom of the page, a family silhoette (by Widdly Tinkers). So much fun to build! For those interested in making their own (its free), click here. And our family is at the bottom of "A Different Kind of Free" blog page in case your interested.......:).

DeAnza

Leaf's

2011-11-08T16:08:00.002-07:00

Breath.

   My eyelids flutter open as my lungs inhale deeply with fresh air. The breeze tugs at strands of my hair and tosses them around my face. My eyes wander to the trees. their leaves sailing to the ground to join the earth with its twigs, wild grass and rocks. How often have I stopped to watch the leaves fall? The back of my mind whispers, "you have not. The leaves have been there, but you just never stopped to seek them out."

Just breathe.

I close my eyes and open my mouth wating for words to surface my mind.  When words break through, I cannot seem to stop.

"God, so often I've rushed through my day making excuses for not spending time with You. So why am I surprised when at the end of the day, I stop to talk to you and feel empty? God, I know you are there, but I feel like your, whell- slinent."

   My heart flow of words stop feeling heavy. I sit silently listening to the sharp call of a bluejay. My heart sinks. I bite my lip and squeeze back tears that line my closed eyes. Hot, angry tears. I'm not mad at God. I'm angry at myself.

   I open my eyes and stare at the ancient trees once again.

Leaves.

The words press on my heart. My mind scrambles to make sense of the meaning of the word. Doesn't God know that I'm trying to talk to Him about this emptyness I've been feeling? What does leaves have to do with this?

   Leaves!

   I intake a sharp breath of air.

"God, I feel so ashamed." I pour out as my mind clutches the meaning. "I complain about your silence,- but your silence is like leaves isnt it? I've passed them all the time but never sought them out to see them. God, you've been here all the time but I never stopped to find you. No more distractions." The sun breaks through the clouds warming my face.

I feel His Spirit whisper to my heart. "Yes, I've never left you and I never will. In my silence you stopped to find me. My refusal and silence is never rejection. It was a opportunity for Me to disclose more of Myself to you."

A smile spreads across my face and my heart. God, thank you!

As I walk home, I pick up a leaf.

DeAnza

Living Real

2011-10-12T18:07:00.001-06:00

   "I can't believe I'm real........" These words were uttered from a five year-old who was deep in thought. While sitting on the carpeted stairs, she wondered at the complexity of her being, created so intricately that it was hard to understand.

   To live as though we are real, means to live life with a purpose and passion that is found only in our Creator. But how ever passionately we live, being real hurts.

   The pain of life is inevitable and at times, exhausting. We try to be genuine representatives of who or what we live for. Yet, this world has a unquenching and hungry desire to rob us of our purpose and leave us disillusioned and weary. Questioning our own unique purpose and real design.

    In the story of the Velveteen Rabbit, the stuffed rabbit's one goal was to be loved so much by his boy that the nursery magic would transform him in to a real rabbit. But in the process of becoming real, the stuffed rabbit would go through pain to get there.

   He would lose his velvet coat and it would be come faded, his shape would become misinformed, and the string that made up his nose would unravel. He was willing to go through all this because he knew the price paid would be so little compared to his gain.

   What is our gain? If we live genuinely for Christ, we must remember: all the trials of this world will not last for eternity. They can be an anvil to shape and galvanize our faith if we gaze higher than the fleeting trial. Remembering too, we are but sojourners, in His hand and becoming what He created us to be: real.

DeAnza

Best Lemon bars Ever

2011-09-26T17:17:00.002-06:00

One of my favorite desert recipes is these Lemon bars (though our family jokingly calls them butter/sugar bars and you'll see why after reading the ingredients). We hope you enjoy!

2 cups flour (wheat or white)
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1 cup butter
4 eggs
6 tablespoons lemon juice
2 cups sugar
6 tablespoons flour
1 teaspoon baking powder

Mix 2 cups powdered sugar, and butter as pie crust. Pat smooth in 9" x 13" pan. Bake 20 minutes at 350 (less for glass pan). Mix eggs, lemon juice, sugar, flour, and baking powder together and pour over crust as it finishes baking. Bake 20 minutes or more. Sprinkle powdered sugar while still hot. Cut into squares.

DeAnza

Called by name

2011-09-20T21:26:00.001-06:00

   There comes a time in our lives, where we feel a calling. A calling from our Creator. But most of the time, we feel unworthy. We doubt ourselves and ask if there is some mistake – for surely God picks the best to do his work and we know that we're far from perfect.

    Yet our creator calls our name. He wants us. What does it look like, to be called by God?

    Many of us can be easily drawn into having the misconception that as soon as we follow God, we kiss our problems good-bye forever more. To live a life of bliss serving the Lord our God forevermore. This idea couldn’t be further from the truth.

   If you desire an easy life, don’t follow God.

   He will rock your world.

   We'll still have problems when we chose to follow Him, if not more. All because were serving him. But if we are serving the Creator of the Universe, I can think of nothing better than having difficulties because I’m doing His will! So rejoice!

Sometimes however, when we do have trouble, it creates questions and confusion.
We cry out, “God why do you want me to do this (task, job, etc)? I see no reason for it?!”

He softly replies, “but I do. I have called you for a reason.
I have a plan.”

I remember one particular time, I was cast in a play some while ago, in a part that I strongly disliked. If you get down to the core of it, I disliked it because it wasn’t big enough for me. I felt I had deserved better. I remember I cried out for several days asking God why He would do this to me? Though looking back it seems petty and selfish, at the time I saw no reason for my role.

But God did.

During the week of rehearsal in the theatre, the cast members who were in small roles such as myself, had a lot of time on our hands. This eventually led to some significant conversations & questions about God among those who waited rehearsing our small parts. Had I been cast a large role I so desired, I wouldn’t have been there to field several
questions that were thrown my way.

Now I see one of possibly several other reasons God had for the “small part” (and maybe this post is one of them!).

Sometimes, when we feel God’s calling, we feel we cannot answer because of guilt or shame. But there is such a difference between the two! Feeling guilty means that you feel you’ve made a mistake. Shame says “You are the mistake”. You can never be a mistake. We all have messed up, but we never are one. With guidance, repentance, and much prayer, we can be redeemed by His mercy.

Lastly, to be used by God, we must remove the sin in our lives and hearts. How easy is it to root out sin in others lives, when we're drowning in darkness of self? A canvas washed clean allows the Master to paint a masterpiece.

To be truly used by God, we must first listen for His call,
throw off the iron shackles of unworth.

Then we must respond with all we are.

DeAnza

Grace Revealed

2011-09-16T17:18:00.003-06:00

Several days ago, I re- discovered a wonderful blog, "Grace Revealed" by Grace. What a inspiring and breath- taking post she had (one of many:))! With her gracious permission, I have posted it here on "A Different Kind of Free". I hope that you enjoy it as much as I did!

Defessus [writing is release]

When my spurts of breath fog up the window of the airplane and I lean as close as I can to the sky, I think that mankind’s sense of direction is slightly boggled. We fly, and think we’re going up and out, but aren’t we really going up and in, closer to the centre of Reality?
I bounced on that trampoline until I could almost kiss the stars. And maybe I’m more like Icarus than I had previously supposed. That broken spring couldn’t have held up forever… but no one said it would hurt so much to fall. Lying in a hospital bed, I wonder why I half-expected flowers. My mind will go too someday, and there’s no brace that can hold it up to the light long enough for it to heal. What’s beyond the wallpaper of my soul? If I could only get out of myself and walk along that poplar-lined street…. But the door is too small, and there’s no potion to make me shrink like Alice. Anyway, the key’s lost at the bottom of the swimming pool where it slipped from my fingers when we were playing mermaids in the the twilight. I remember we turned all the lights on, and everything was orange and blue and almost perfect. I could float on my back and watch the rumours of the sunset steal across the walls, until my body decided to rebel against Archimedes and descend into the twinkling depths…….
I open my eyes and there’s a butterfly above them– a memento of a life I almost lived. I was interrupted by a curly-haired boy who had a question for me that he never could bring himself to utter. His feet sifted through the grass, but he never could smell the hidden meanings in motion. Sometimes I think about him and wonder if someone ever taught him how to breath deeply enough to feel truly brave… and I regret that I didn’t teach him when I had the chance. I can’t calculate the opportunity cost of rushing away to a swan-speckled river and the row-boat that waited for me on the shore. But such is the path I sprinted along. We were required to wear life-jackets while boating, and I felt like a fat bird unable to fly. I laughed off the feeling of despair, and learned to veil my eyes, because it just didn’t make sense for it to be raining inside my heart while the sun was glistening on the water outside.

Understanding and perception are priceless and dangerous gifts, but even they have their limits. Somehow, only the squirrels outside my window ever looked into my eyes long enough to notice the rust on my trampoline springs, and see that it was always only a matter of time. Maybe I just imagined it, but my bedroom walls seemed to understand my personality better than I did, and they changed color ever-so-subtly to help me adapt. No one else saw behind the mischief in my eyes and my tendency to bounce with excitement. No one saw the shadows… in all shades of grey. No one ever expected me to fall, and when I did, no one ever knew. It might seem impossible, but I was always an actress, you know. So we’ll go on to talk about bed-knobs and broomsticks, of cabbages and kings, and forget this ever happened. Forget that there’s bitterness behind the brilliance or sadness behind the smile… the world is made of truth denied.
But how can I make you understand that my feelings are as real as yours? Who would suspect me, with my bright pink jacket and playful retorts, of writing poetry dripping with tears that come from encounters with faithlessness and betrayal and uncertainty? Surely I should be happy forever. How could it be possible that I could go to bed and cry myself to sleep?
Arbitrary memories whish across the parchment of my mind. Science fair projects with shells and frogs and meat tenderizers remind me of that night I wore a very unattractive plaid shirt, and I wonder what my evaluating judge thought of my sense of style. Stylistically speaking, I’m not sure how to employ the word “arcane” as often as I’d like to do so. Judging by my knack for changing the subject, we could be here all day. Please fasten your seat-belts, and if there is a sudden change in cabin pressure, fasten the oxygen mask to your face and breathe normally. If you should experience hallucinations of 13 Tolkein-esque dwarves, join them so their number is no longer unlucky. We may all be needed in the future, for sacrifice is a service which cannot be bought and a dish which is always served warm. I opened the refrigerator and realized I was looking in the wrong place. What would Sydney Carton do in my situation? Never mind, he’d never find himself here anyway. If he did, I’d be the first to say hello and offer him my gloved hand. But if anyone was to come and ask for my gloved heart, I’d tell him it was still under repair.

By Grace at http://scatteredglimpses.wordpress.com/

DeAnza

Seasons have wings

2011-08-25T17:20:00.003-06:00

I can hardly believe that summer's ending. Wasn't it just yesterday we enjoyed it with all its pleasures?

Sprinklers,

boating,

campfire songs,

of course lemonaide,

playtime,

summer food,

and green grass.

As a season closes, I look forward to a new one, its pages yet to be filled with beautiful memories.

DeAnza

Monotony

2011-08-22T16:23:00.001-06:00

      There are some days I find I have prayers that go something like this:

    "Dear God, thank you for helping me get through yet another day. Thank you for my family. Thank you for my friends. Thank you for the food that we eat, speaking of which, did you see that pile of dishes I did today?! I must have spent an hour or more cleaning them! I washed them all again, alone. And I get to do the same thing again tomorrow. Along with vaccuming, laundry, dusting and more laundry. And the day after that, and the day after that. Will it never end?"

   "God, I'm tired of the every day to day duties and jobs.
God, I love you and I would do great things for you! I'd overcome great challenges, help the poor, and I'll even move to a exciting foreign country."

   "But I'm stuck here in the monotomy of my life."

   "Life is boring."

   "I would much rather have challenging over boring."

    I feel His spirit gently asking, "Why are you so far from me?"

    I pull at excuses.

   "It's not my fault that I'm far, I've been waiting so long for you to guide me."

  "I have always been here. You choose to stray, focusing on your burdens, you were too distracted to come to me."

   I feel my heart acknowledging truth.

"I guess I couldn't see you."

   His warm reply, "You need not move mountains to show me that you love me. I have called some to do such, but I have other plans for you. If you truly want to be used by me, continue with your work every day. Are you not building servanthood? I know your passions, hopes and dreams and I have plans, but you cannot be ready for them if you don't start where you are. I will give you the strength."

My heart leaps.

"Yes Lord, give me strength in my daily work you've given me. Help me to see what is of eternal value!"

As I pray, I ask that He will help me to see each day through His eyes.

DeAnza

Pause

2011-08-08T16:27:00.000-06:00

    I have recently started to read a new book called "You are My Hiding Place: A 40-Day Journey in the Company of Amy Carmichael". The particular chapter I was reading last
night, I found to be encouraging.

            "Pause is the word the Greek translation of the Bible uses for selah. I like to meditate upon the way it occurs for the first time in the Psalms:

Many there be which say of my soul,
"There is no help for him in God."
    Selah
But Thou, O Lord art my helper, my Glory and the lifter of my head!"
                                   (Psalm 3:2)

" We all have been subjected to the wearing voices which flood the very atmosphere around us, complaining, "There is no help...."

These voices murmur and mutter the same words, no matter what the challenge or difficultly may be. "There is no help...."
But because you and I are in God, we need not listen:
" There is no help....," they repeat.
Pause.
"But you, O Lord, are my helper!"
No Matter to us what the voices say. Their words bring only weariness- but with His word comes peace and strength and courage to go on.

This is true, not only with the difficult outward circumstances of our lives, but with inward temptations too. We are tempted. And at once we recall past failures in this same area. This causes us to feel week and start to fall. The voices within are saying "There is no help...."

    Even these inner struggles may be turned to peace. How? Instead of trying to answer the many voices of the enemy, or auguring with them (we can never win this type of argument), we must do something else.
We pause.
We look up away from self, away from the enemy.
We look up!
"There is no help...."
" But you, O Lord...."
      Some believe that selah signifies a sudden pealing-forth of musical instruments. The pause, then, for praise.
     Then let us fill all of our pauses with praise! Let us give all that lies within us, not to the voices to the enemy, but to pure praise, to pure loving adoration, and to worship from a grateful heart- a heart that is trained to look up.

         My Father, train my soul, today, to pause. When the    enemy attacks, hurling words that cause me to take my eyes off of you.... When I feel weak, and helpless to do anything but fail.
    I will stop.
    I will look up.
No matter what comes, I will say, "But you, O Lord, are my helper!"

- Chapter 4 ("You Are My Hiding Place") by Amy Carmicheal

DeAnza

Better together

2011-07-30T15:38:00.000-06:00

This morning I sat down to eat breakfast and my mind started to wander. Eventually I thought of a scenario similar to this video.....

...... there are some things like milk and cereal that are just better together ( and of course chocolate cake & ice cream too:)). Enjoy!

DeAnza

Mail to God

2011-07-11T16:33:00.000-06:00

Dear God,

Isn't it strange how when we are free from responsibilities and routine (for the most part) we give ourselves thing's to do? Its the middle of summer, and I feel as if I'm holding water in my hands, and the drops are slipping through my tightly clenched fingers.
Summer has been flying by and I've been so busy. I guess when you have events and appointments lined up, it seems like there is never enough time. When we spend the time we do have wishing for tomorrow, we loose sight of the moments when time stands still. Moments when eternity waits so that we have a chance to admire with awe at the complex yet simple wonders of this place that is bursting with what we call life. Let our lives be set with purpose to fulfill each moment in a way that is beautiful and glorifying to you.

In your name I praise,
Amen

Distinctly Different

2011-06-27T16:34:00.001-06:00

When people look at us, meet us, interact with us, is there something that stands out in there minds? Is there something different about us? There came a time in Israel when the people wanted a king to rule over them. The prophet Samuel was grieved to hear this, because until that time, Israel needed and depended solely on God , not man. Israel wanted to be like the other pagan kingdoms.
In today's culture, sometimes it's easy to get side-tracked with blending with the crowd, but that's not what Christianity is about. Christianity is hearing the call to nonconformity, to be different from the world. God intended for us to be Christ-like and follow His example. So we can ask ourselves, "would this thought, action, behavior, etc. be like that of Christ?"

Almost all of us, have been through a time of wanting nothing more than to fit in. Fit in with our co-workers, neighbors and even friends. It all falls back to a matter of the heart. It is lust to want something that others have. In my own life, there was a time when I found it hard to accept the standards that my parent's set. In my mind the question was "How am I going to be cool (yes I did say "cool"....don't smile:)) if I cant wear the clothes that my friends are wearing? Or use some of the words my peers are?". What I didn't realize at the time, was that there were reasons for my parents banding the things that they did. What I thought I wanted most, wasn't at all Christ-honoring. How would it be possible to represent Him if I was just like every one else? Christ certainly wasn't & isn't!

To be distinctly different in Christ, we must first rebuke the myths that surrounds holiness, to be healthy. There are certain beliefs about the Church, that have no ground or truth, such as traditions and rituals. Is it really necessary to pray five times a day, six days a week and twice on Sundays out of habit? Absolutely not. God wants to hear from our heart, not from an established ritual. To be world changers, there first must be an outworking of authentic holiness (not surface deeds).
To be different for Christ means to be truly accepting of His offer of redemption and grace for our failure. As we try to be like Him we will stumble and blunder. However, we must give our failures of our past to God, ask for His Spirit to guide us and walk in forgiveness, as we try to live in a way that we are, distinctly different.

DeAnza

Plans for our Dreams

2011-06-06T17:33:00.001-06:00

Every one has some kind of a dream. But what is it that turns our dreams into realities?

The first observation is that every dream requires a plan. As can easily be noticed, you cannot fulfill your dream if you have no idea what or how to accomplish it. What are the steps that you have to take to fix up that house? What research do you need to do to earn that Doctor or Master's degree?

The second observation is extremely important. It is the fact that we must rely on the strength and favor of God. Pray before you proceed in making that dream a tangible reality. Remember, nothing is possible without Him. Anything is possible with Him!

Another question that we need to ask ourselves is: " Am I willing to change my lifestyle to fulfill the dream?" It is one thing to think about doing something and an entirely different thing to do it. Are you willing to accept the sacrifice that may be required?

While working to reach our dreams, we must not be afraid to ask others for help. It is difficult to put on a production of a show when you fulfill the roles of the director, producer, stage manager, costumer, makeup artist, actor, etc (an exception would be, if you had more than two arms, which excludes most of us:)).

Many of us are enthusiastic when we talk about our dreams, and we should be. However, we realize that not everyone will dream your dream. This is okay because if God has favor on us and His blessing, that is all the approval that we need!

DeAnza

Prescription for Contentment

2011-05-28T12:43:00.001-06:00

This morning, I read a portion form the book Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. I fount the truth of the words so simple to understand, yet so difficult to apply to life. Yet, the impact if we follow the prescription, is so wonderfully overwhelming.

* Never allow yourself to complain about anything-not even the weather.

* Never picture yourself in any other circumstance or someplace else.

* Never compare your lot with another's.

* Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.

* Never dwell on the tomorrow- remember that tomorrow is God's not ours.

May we let our focus be eternal, and lead to internal contentment.

DeAnza

Singing in the Rain

2011-05-13T16:50:00.000-06:00

Singing in the Rain is hosting a blog party, do sign up!

Favorite thing about summer? The sky. During the day it’s refreshing to watch the clouds, and at night the sky is aw-inspiring to gaze at the stars.

Deep question time: vanilla or chocolate? Humm… do you have to ask? Chocolate hands down.

What do you think: is the Twilight fad dying out? And if it is, are you dancing over its grave? I personally am doing the polka dance, with joy, that the series is coming to a close.

Favorite quote? “Being imperfect doesn’t disqualify us from serving God, it just emphasizes our dependency on his mercy.” - Unknown

Traveling: where would you want to go? Always my first pick would be England (I’m a Britt at heart :-)).

What type of music do you like? A lot of movie sound tracks such as: Tuck Everlasting, North and South, Narnia, Les Miserable’s, August Rush, ect.

Canon or Nikon? (If you're not a photographer, don't feel like you have to answer this...): Did you say Cannons or Nike shoes?

Are you a squeamish person? Any stories? Only when it comes to spiders, and dinner conversations that involve them.

Flipflops, bare feet, or heels? Bare feet seems to be a given. It’s rare to find me with shoes at home.

Do you like old black and white films? Always, although I never could wait until the color started in the movie “Wizard of OZ”:-).

Skirts or jeans? I defiantly wear jeans more, though I am in love with dresses and skirts.

Fresh or saltwater? Fresh, no sharks here!

DeAnza

Jostie Flicks: 9 Home alone

2011-05-09T15:46:00.000-06:00

Recently, we found this video by Jostie flicks and enjoyed it. Can you relate? Such a creative family! Enjoy!

DeAnza

Choices

2011-04-17T16:26:00.001-06:00

To many of us, life is bursting with choices. Life can be viewed as many things such as: an emotional rollercoaster, a puzzling maze, or an endless race. No matter how life is viewed, the observation can be made: life is not all ways easy.

When hardship comes our way, what happens? It’s important that to ask ourselves “Will I be determined to do the best I can? Will I trust God even when it's difficult?”. Once we take time to identify and answer these questions, we need to prayerfully make a choice.

Our choices determine our future, which is why we have to take time before coming to a decision. Often when we are in a tough situation it is easy to forget that God has a long-term plan, not a short-term fix. Keeping our vision for the long distance race of life, not a sprint.

Most importantly, when we face a tough situation or choice, never lose hope. Remember the vision that God has for your life.

As a final question, we need to ask our self, “What will I chose to remember?” as we pray “God let your will be done in a way that glorifies you most”.

DeAnza

Performance Week

2011-04-03T15:35:00.001-06:00

     After much preparation we finally performed "Meet Me in St. Louis"! Lost Marbles Theatrics (LMT) rehearsed for a week at a historic Rialto Theatre (which is decorated as it would have been in the 1920's).

    Monday through Thursday, all the cast and crew arrived anytime from 2:00pm- 4:00pm to prepare for full dress rehearsal. Since the theater group is also a homeschool class that counts for high school credits, we had a break everyday for notes (you never can get away from learning can you?:-)) and a time of prayer. All the cast would run through the full show and then go home (we usually got done around 10:00pm).

      Finally, on Friday the 25th, we had our opening show that night! We were all extremely excited to have a live audience!
The next day we performed two more shows, one at 2:00pm and another at 7:00pm. It was wonderful to see the reaction of the audience, (and of course friends and family:-)) to the humor in the show, as well as to the moving emotions, displayed by the actors.

     Now that the show and rehearsals are over, we all have a bitter-sweet feeling.

The Dressing rooms were always crowded!

Some of the characters.....

Avoiding eye contact with the camera.....

We are all so thankful, that we had this opportunity for performing with like-minded, Christian homeschoolers!

DeAnza

Meet Me In St. Louis

2011-03-21T10:26:00.000-06:00

For the last eight months, I have been enrolled in a theater group called “Lost Marbles theatrics’” (LMT). LMT is a Homeschool High school, Christian organization for students 14-18 and counts for class credits. After many months of rehearsals, we are all excited about our upcoming performance, “Meet Me in St. Louis” that we will be performing at the historic theater the “Rialto” on March 25^th, and 26^th. Today the News paper came out, and we found a column about us!

The Smith children!

Here's all the cast!

To read the posting in the paper for LMT, click here.

DeAnza

5 Reasons Why Not to Worry

2011-03-15T09:50:00.001-06:00

Lately I’ve found myself

worrying about small things

as well as big. I have found

that God tells us many times

through out the Bible, not to

fear. Not to be anxious. Do not be afraid. Here are five

reasons in Matthew why not to worry.

1. The same God who created life in you can be trusted with the details of your life. He cares about the small things.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?” – Matthew 6:25

Read “Personal God” post.

2. Worrying about the future keeps you from doing your best today.

“ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” – Mattew 6:26

3. God does not forget those who depend on him.

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?” Matthew 6:28-30

4. There are real challenges God wants us to pursue and worrying keeps us from them.

”But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” – Mattew 6:33

5. Living one day at a time at a time keeps us from worrying too much.

”Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34

DeAnza

Living Bravely

2011-02-24T16:16:00.001-07:00

There are many different

kinds of brave.

There is the most well-known

form: Heroism (think: firefighters,

military, etc.). There are also those

who stand against the crowd for

their beliefs. Another type is those

who find the strength to stand in a

place where life is crumbling.

All these forms of courage above, have similar qualities

weaved throughout.

Consider this, how many of us wake up at the crack of dawn

and think “The sun is shining, the birds are singing and it is

time to get up, up, up!”?

If you are like me, you probably need to push yourself to get up.

That’s what bravery is all about; doing actions not based on

following feelings. It is the power of decisiveness. Whether

that is pushing yourself to get out of bed in the morning, or

getting dinner ready at night. Our feelings often scream to let

ourselves rest in that bed longer, or order fast food because

we are too exhausted to cook. But the important thing is that

we don’t. We don’t let our emotions or feelings lead us. We

need to make the right choice and act upon it, regardless of

how we feel.

For many of us, being brave is to be some kind of super-

powered hero (think batman, superman, e.c.t). What I think

some of us overlook, is that brave people are developed not

born. For development in courage, it takes a pathway of

lifelong discipleship. Brave people are shaped by mentoring.

Whether it is seen or not, relationships have an incredible

power that influences us in almost every area in our lives!

Personal investments and decisiveness are some keys on the

road to bravery.

DeAnza

Catalog People

2011-02-11T17:57:00.001-07:00

Recently, I discovered a website that shows us a look into

the exciting lives of the people living in our catalogs.

“Yes Gary, of course I support your whittling hobby,” Elaine

said through gritted teeth, the pain from her mouth splinters

bringing tears to her eyes.

Hearing Jeremiah coming down the stairs, Gary and Elaine quickly erased the name of the neighbor’s kid who they really like, and scribbled their own son’s name back onto his personal chalkboard.

Worried that their lives were getting too orderly, Gary rebelliously installed intentionally-crooked shelves and pulled the butterfly chair out a naughty 5 inches from the table.

Elaine hoped that a nice bowl of fruit could lure Gary back from his magical journey into the Land of the Headboard.

-To find more humoris entries of Catalog People visit http://catalogliving.net/

DeAnza

Silver Packages

2011-02-03T20:36:00.001-07:00

Do you remember as a child gazing longingly at the big, bright, silver package under the colorfully decorated Christmas tree? How you were so sure that your name was on the tag, even though you couldn’t read yet? How you tried to discreetly tear a corner of the paper to get a peek at the contents of the gift?

It is expecting. Expecting all our praying to pay off and find our special toy in that particular gift.

What would happen if the gift was lifted into the arms of the giver and carried across the room and loving placed into the arms of……. another.

It would be disappointing. Having placed so much hope, thought, and effort in wishing for that silver package to be ours, that when we do not receive it we are crushed.

We ask ourselves “Is there some mistake? Maybe there’s another package of that other person.”

Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation so exactly like the silver package.

We hope. We pray. We wish. We try to make it happen. Which is why we are so devastated and let down when we don’t get the job, role, position, or gift we wanted. It goes to another.

Some people may try to shove themselves through the door or find a way around it.

However, we need to remember that when God closes a door, He had a reason and a purpose. Sometimes God says to us as we try to fight Him, “Do you have so little faith that you can’t accept My will? Put your trust in Me. I have something better instead for you.”

We can’t see the “something better” right now, but if God tells us there is something better, He means something amazing!

You may be thinking “Well that’s just fine and dandy, for sometime down the road, but what about right now? “

For now, we can lay our trust in God’s loving hands, not the silver package, and pray for His will.

DeAnza

Ways to Get to the Gallows

2011-01-19T17:52:00.000-07:00

There was a verse from Scripture that stood out to me a couple weeks back, so I thought that I would write it on my bulletin board.

It was the night after I had received some devastating news (in my mind). I had gone up to room where I could think/cry things over. After I finished crying, I started to continue the book I was reading “How to be a People Person” by John Maxwell (yes, I was required to read it :-)).

Looking up from my book, I glanced at my bulletin board. I found a part of a sermon from church (we were talking about Hayman in the book of Esther) that I had written on the board a while back.

Ways to get to the gallows:

By seeing mostly what we don’t have.

What is your frame of mind?

Inside something screamed (could it be His Spirit?) “Yes! That’s just what is happening in your life! Why do you see your situation as a terrible thing?!”

Sometimes as people, we can have a tendency to be so negative on ourselves, situations, and others. The key is to try to find something good about the person, place or situation (however small it may seem :-)).

Finding the good may not change how you feel right now.

To have a change of heart may take a few days, weeks, or months, but it’s important to remember to trust God and His will.

With His help you may even find a new perspective or view you didn’t see before.

DeAnza

The Fun Theory

2011-01-18T18:24:00.000-07:00

Here's a video I found, that I thought would be neat to share.
What could we change to make work, chores, e.ct more interesting?

- Video made by: TheFunTheory.com

DeAnza

Personal God

2011-01-17T18:17:00.001-07:00

Every so often, I catch myself throwing away prayers.

    When I pray, sometimes I feel silly, like when I'm praying about finding money for a new shirt that I fell in love with (but not the price tag:-)) and I think to myself "What am I doing?"
    There are many horrible things in the world that are happening right now: natural disasters, hunger, loss of a loved ones, the list could go on and on.
  Thinking of these things is sad and sobering.
    When I think of all the hurt, pain and devastation in the world, my new shirt doesn't seem so important or worth praying over.
   Why trouble God with something like that? Why would He care?
    The truth is, that our God is a personal God. He cares about the small things that are important to us. If it matters to us, it matters to God because we are His children and He loves us!
    However, this doesn't mean that God turns a deaf ear to the large things. God hears everything!
   Next time, when I pray about something small, I know that God cares because He is a personal God and nothing happens without it being His will.
     So I will pray for just that: His will.

DeAnza

Quest to be Beautiful

2011-01-05T17:32:00.000-07:00

        Ever since we were little girls, the quest to be beautiful has bombarded us from every turn. From the bedtime stories such as "Sleeping Beauty" and "The Ugly Duckling" that we read, to the Barbie dolls we played with. Lets face it- beauty can become an all-consuming priority!

       Now that we've reached " when I grow up....." (a phrase we said as little girls), we are under even more pressure to be beautiful. T.V, movies and music tell us that to be beautiful, we need to dress a certain way, have a certain type of body, etc.

     I admit to playing the comparison game. This is one embarassing confession, but I remember once tearing out a magazine ad of a model. She looked like what I thought wanted to look like. The model had gorgous blue eyes ( I myself am have brown), beautiful full hair and teeth that were perfect and white. I kept that picture with me to supposably achieve my goal. But I realized pretty quickly that this was only negative. I was trying to change myself to conform to this image, but this view was making me feel even more discontented with the way God created me.

        Basically, I was coveting what someone else had, which is breaking one of the ten comandments. Another problem with comparing ourself with other people,  especially people in magazines, is that they aren't even realistic. With today's technology, most pictures are doctored to erase flaws or even shave off inches! On top of that, most models weigh less than what is considered healthy for there height.

    " The Lord doen't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward apearance but the Lord looks into the heart."- 1 Samuel 16: 7

     During those times when we are feeling particulary low on our self image, we need to remember that we should be focusing on our "God-worth" not our "self worth".

We are His treasure!

DeAnza

- model transformation info. found in SHE Teen magazine (Tyndale Publishers, Inc.)

Home

2010-12-30T11:13:00.000-07:00

Welcome to a Different Kind of Free

      The title of this blog stands for the freedom that is found only through the unshackling of our bondage to what this world defines as free. The key to doing this is embracing God's truths through His Word.
    I feel that sometimes our world sees the word "freedom" as limitless power (the steering wheel if you will) that is their's to control. A word that has no cause or effect to the choices that they make. There are consequences to our actions.
     Freedom for many, is being able to see the road ahead. True freedom is handing the steering wheel back to our Maker.
     This blog is also a collection and recording of many things that have shaped my life. I will admit right up front that I still have so much to learn about character, responsibilities and yes, even chores:-). I have overdue library books. I usually don't wear shoes when I go outside (but is this a bad thing?:)), and I am almost always ten minutes late to start school.
      I am learning to put my trust in God and I pray everyday that He will give me guidance and wisdom in each choice that is laid before me, big or small.
       I am learning to live His "Different Kind of Free".

DeAnza